oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
