Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
