any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
