he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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