We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize