I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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