I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
