Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
