College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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