Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
