What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
