Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
