I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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