No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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