i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize