so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's blow job season.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize