Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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