1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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