No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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