Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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