also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
