i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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