Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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