I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
