I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
