oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize