Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
