he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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