ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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