Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize