I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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