Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize