I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
