i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just had sex bonerless
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
