Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
BRING THE BAGELS
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
