Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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