Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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