I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
