they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
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