accomplished twins. life is a go
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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