your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
