why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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