We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
