What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize