the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
