I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
