My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
