Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
