Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize