He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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