My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Your cock deserves a montage
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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