my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The feeling are messing with the penis
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
