I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
