weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
