Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
