i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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