nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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