I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
