so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
