dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My penis needs a shock collar
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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