Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
