Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
