is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
