is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
