this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
