I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
