im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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