Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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