I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
