google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
