apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize