He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize