I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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