I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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